Switch Hack

So, last week we heard that Gordon Brown had resorted to ringing voters at home to discuss issues they have contacted him about via email or post. We all know that Gordon’s biggest challenge has historically been, and still remains, connecting with an electorate used to the easy charm and personal accessibility of Tony Blair. And of course, the easiest way to connect with someone is to talk to them. I don’t mean talk to them as one of a sea of millions, but really talk to them. We might point out three basic rules.

1) Look at their concerns in isolation

2) Consider which approach will reach them most effectively

3) Use the appropriate responses to demonstrate how closely you have listened
 
It might all be PR puffery designed to soften Gordon’s rocky public image. But the premise is promising. And if the PM who, we mustn’t forget, has sixty million paying customers, can make these small steps to reach out to his audience, then some of our brands should take note. If Gordon can cut out the middle man and talk directly to the electorate in a way that makes them feel that their complaint had been adequately handled, then big business should follow. In fact, I might pen Gordon a little note to that effect and wait for the phone to ring…

To be a good listener you need to understand your own listening style.

We are all disposed to listen to some people more than others and that is because we have preferences for different types of information. Some of us seek out new ideas while other people’s ears twitch at the details, some people find their attention is drawn to practical information and others gather in on orientated discussions.

More self-awareness about your listening preferences means better ability to manage the majority of interactions you become involved in.

Greater awareness will help you to pick up on the mood of the speaker and thus enable you to modify your responses to align with the speakers expectations. Your aim as a listener is to keep the person speaking on a balanced emotional state for the more negatively emotional they become the greater distractions they will experience. For example, if the speaker is not interested in, or does not believe your responses are genuine they are more than likely to just switch off. The interaction essential to any form of communication is easily lost and the chances of them actually disagreeing with you or challenging you quickly diminish. Furthermore, if  you yourself are not aware of your own listening preferences and mindsets the probability is high that interests will clash between you and speaker leaving all at odds.

Being aware of your preferences and what influences your mindset puts you in a strong position to manage your thoughts and emotions.

The more balanced you are the better able you will be to listen and observe the speaker and to identify what they really want to say, never mind the words that come out. Tune into the moment and align your listening and response to meet the needs of the speaker whilst at the same time influencing to achieve your own goals. It is a well know secret that when you have developed a strong, empathic relationship with a speaker the outcome is more than likely to be a positive one that is mutually beneficial.

How many times do you find yourself speaking to people and you sense they are doing their emails while you are talking to them?

You know they are not listening properly and are distracted by other things. They are not trying to actively listen and really understand what you are saying.

Next time you think someone is doing this just flippantly add something absurd into the conversation to test whether they are really listening to you or not.

Although it appears to require a lot of hard work the benefits from becoming an active listener can be well worth the effort. However, to make a genuine connection with the people we are interacting with requires being authentic in our desire to understand what is being communicated to us.

In fact the term ‘authentic listener’ is increasingly coming into play to differentiate the people who have mastered the skill of actively listening in ways that enable them to achieve a very high level of understanding.

‘Authentic listeners’ are those people who have developed a keen awareness that comes from learning to appreciate and acknowledge what is being said in spite of whether they agree or disagree with the one talking. The ‘authentic listener’ demonstrates an understanding of what the speaker is saying from the speaker’s perspective without making a judgment on the content until they have the full story. This naturally puts them in a very strong position to influence those they interact with. To try seeing the issue from another person’s point of view opens the way to discussion of the issues that both parties need to resolve.

Listening is the most important facet of good communication

Isn’t it odd then that most people prefer to talk rather than listen? The probable reason is that listening is a far more difficult skill than talking. But listening is such a pivotal skill in all walks of life, at work and at home. So many issues in the home between partners and within families can be put down to parties not really listening to each other.

Listening is, of course, not just about hearing, but about committing the effort to try understanding what people want.

A good listener works very hard to truly understand what is meant by the words that are spoken. Active listening can be difficult; it requires undivided attention and concentration something many people don’t think they have time for.

So much success is dependent on the ability to be a good listener and yet there is so little advice on how to do it well.

When you think how many consultants and advisors are out there promising positive transformation, it is quite disappointing that they don’t offer training on how to listen properly first as this would be a huge benefit to both individuals and organisations.